1951-2023
Ester Palma Vente
This page is dedicated to my mother my Mama, Ester Palma Vente. She was a strong believer in my potential, always reminding me, “Your time is near!” She would say this to me whenever the subject of owning my own clinic/business would come up.
My Ma was always positive, welcoming visitors with her wonderful, warm smile. Even through her health issues, she made the effort to smile and laugh until her last breath.
My Ma was a very talented person. People remember her for her excellent cooking. Sandra, every once in a while would have a baked surprise. My Ma would make her, her favorite cake, an angel food cake. Sandra, misses that and always appreciated it.
She was also an excellent singer. She would perform in auditoriums belting out songs from the Platters, Johnny Mathis and some of her favorite Filipino singers.
My Ma loved/loves her family. Although, I took this for granted in my teens, my friends would remind me how obvious it was that she loved her children, whenever they visited. They could just see by her actions. Even one time, a friend of mine said to me, “
For those of you that have had a loved one go through Alzheimer’s/Dementia, you will understand how difficult it was for her loved ones to watch her decline. Ultimately the Good Lord, took her on April 9th, 2023, Easter Sunday a very appropriate day for someone who had a strong faith.
I’ve dedicated this page to her just as a small thank you to remind me to pray before I lay hands on people. She also taught me that regardless of circumstance, I still have to push through.
In essence I am honoring my Ma, through my works and driving forward regardless of stumbling blocks. My Ma has taught me how to build inner strength and faith.
For this reason, I will ever be eternally grateful for the Lord, giving her to me as my mother, my Ma. Love you Ma!
Below was the Eulogy I had written for her at her funeral:
Good day guys,
I want to thank all of you for showing your respects to my Mama. We are so grateful for family from both Vente’s and Palma’s and any other family linked to us that have visited her, prayed for us, fed Mama, bought food, lent their cars, drove us to the hospital without question on that fateful day, and whatever support that was given to our family. I also want to thank our family who have come from the US to pay their respects. Also, for those family and friends here and in the Philippines who are watching the stream.
Thank you Pastor Jack for leading us in prayer and helping to comfort the family.
I want to especially thank the Pinero’s (Tito Ed, Tita T, Christine and April) for going over and beyond what we had expected. Thank you Tito Ed and Tita T for waking up early in the Philippines to answer video calls and lead group prayers for Mama at the hospital.
I also want to acknowledge that we have had another unfortunate family member who passed. Amelia’s mom, Angie whom we also loved dearly passed away in February. To say the least it has been very challenging, especially for Art, Amelia, Curtis, Mia, Coco and the rest of Amelia’s family.
Today, in my Eulogy. I want to give you guys a picture of who my Mama was and many of you will be able to relate to what I will be speaking to. I felt the best way to do this was in a combination of story-telling and moral lessons I have learned from my Ma. I tried hard to see how my Ma might see things from her perspective. And also give you my perspective. This will be done through a letter I wrote, that I call, “To My Dear Mama”. Before I do that I want to read you a passage from the BIble.
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The Widow’s Offering Mark 12:41-44
41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
To My Dear Mama,
Ma, we have been blessed with a family that has watched over you. From Art and Amelia taking you and Papa into their home. From Ariel, James, myself and Sandra feeding you, helping to change you and just keeping you company.
Ma, both you and Papa have shown me what it is to show love to one another. Papa has shown his deep love for you by caring for you as best as he could. I know that Papa has some back issues and he still did the physical things to assist you, without complaint. Even though your Alzheimer’s was progressively getting worse, you never forgot who Papa was. When you could, I could hear you call out to him, “Pa”. Or just the look of joy on your face when he would enter the room.
Your bond with Papa goes beyond earthly bounds. It was a deep spiritual connection that manifested through your words to each other and physical actions.
My patients and I have you to thank for teaching me to pray to the good Lord before I even lay hands on people. My success in life is deeply rooted in what you have taught me. I thank the Lord for the honor of being one of your sons
Ma, I know that it must’ve been scary for you, when you started to realize that your mind was failing you. I could only imagine what your thoughts were. The thought that you were following the direction of Nanay Ceding, your mother and my Lola,my Grandmother.
I still remember when you would say to me, “Dong, my memory isn’t as good as it used to be.” I would say to you,”I know Ma, I know.” I think you knew that something was wrong but weren’t too sure what it was. We knew. I would just smile at you and pat you on the arm.
Ma, I want to thank you for listening intently to me, Saturday night before your passing. It was just you and I in that hospital room. I danced for you and tried to make you laugh. I tried to feed you but you turned away from the teaspoon. Before, I would say grace before I fed you and usually you would take a few bites. Today was different. I knew that your time was rapidly coming.
Ma, that conversation that we had was the most intense conversation I’ve had with anyone. You didn’t say a word to me but just kept looking intently at me with those big brown caring eyes. It was at this moment, I felt your love deeply in my soul. I spoke and you listened. I wept and you just patiently kept your gaze on me.
I bared my soul to you. I can count 3 times when I’ve spoken to you about my life. Usually, I kept things to myself.
I whispered good-bye and thank you. I told you about how difficult life had been for us over the last couple of years. I told you that at times I felt alone, isolated, dismayed and disappointed. I mentioned how we had struggled with business through the pandemic. I told you that we didn’t have a car at the moment and we had to bus it everywhere.
Looking back at our conversation, Ma. I had a sense of shame. The gall of me to tell you about two years of problems; meanwhile you had a progressive disease that got worse over six years!
You deserved better from me. Your eldest. Being Filipino; there are always high expectations of the eldest.
Ma, you loved to dance and loved going to parties, especially the Ang Bisaya Association, Oroquieta and Southwestern University Alumni Association ones. I look at you and you can’t even stand up. Back when you could, you danced Salsa the best that you could with us and really enjoyed it but eventually you would tire fast. BUT you enjoyed yourself and would laugh and point joyfully.
Ma, you were an amazing cook. People would speak about how delicious your ham, lumpia, pancit and your deserts were. Two of my favorites were your beef kaldereta and fish escabeche. Those arms that you used to cook with; were now by your side and weak, unable to use them to even feed yourself. Many of us will miss your food, Ma.
Ma, your singing voice was a true blessing to anyone who heard you sing. You sang at parties, family gatherings and work events. For the ones that have never heard you sing, they were blown away by your talents. Now, you aren’t able to communicate vocally. You now communicated with your eyes and eyebrows by lifting them to say, “yes”. You connected with many of your nieces and nephews by your vocal talents. In fact, it is very common to hear them say that they looked up to you.
Ma, you were about glamor and elegance. You would always have make-up, lipstick and your hair done, whenever you left the house. I would post pictures and videos of you because I was proud of you. I am pretty sure that some questioned why I was posting pictures because you weren’t who you were. You were remembered as that glamorous woman.
To me you are always beautiful. You were and still are my palanga, (dear to my heart). In my eyes your laughter was your make-up and your smile was your lipstick. I wanted the world to know that you made me extremely happy, whenever you laughed and smiled. I wanted to share that joy with the rest of the world.
Ma, you did the best that you could to show how much you loved people and that you did still recognize many of us to the end.
The nurses would tell me that, usually you refused food from them BUT, when a niece, Papa, or one of your sons or daughters would feed you, you would accept the spoon. In my eyes Ma, this was a token of showing your love. You couldn’t say a word and you couldn’t gesture with your hands BUT you accepted the ones you loved to feed you. You had problems with swallowing because of the disease. You let go of the fear and terror of swallowing the wrong way as your outward communication of love. You sacrificed fear for love.
Ma, to me you were like that widow that Jesus described, giving her last coins. To the outside observer those coins seemed almost nothing BUT to the discerning eye, the coins were a great show of love. Ma, you gave your love fully to the best of what you could muster. From accepting feeding, smiling, and just listening intently to me.Your gestures were your last coins.
Ma, you will be greatly missed by Papa, Your sons, daughters, in-laws, nieces, nephews and friends. Your sisters and brothers who haven’t seen you in years, in the Philippines will also be missing you, my Titos and Titas, Mommy Melba, Tita Naive, Tita Lynn Lynn, Tito Noonon. Also your beloved in-laws, Tita Nilda and Mommy Delia
In the Philippines you have touched many from Catarman, Camiguin Island, where you were born to your beloved Don Carlos to Sinacaban to Cagayan De Oro. Ma, you impacted many lives.
You will now have a lechon fiesta with the Good Lord, Tatay, Nanay, Uncle Henry, Daddy Teddy and Angie.
Ma, you have profoundly affected me. The way you carried yourself through the six years. Your simple gestures of love. Your two quotes that you repeated to me throughout the years, “Pray before you place your hands on people.” and simply, “Al, Always pray.”
Ma, I have learned from you to always celebrate the living and mourn the dead. To look for subtle signs that your loved ones may show you as a sign of their love.
Ma, I will honor you through my works and to always stay the course, regardless of how tough things are.
Ma, the Lord took you on the Holiest of days, Easter Sunday. A fitting tribute, to one who had strong faith. Ma, you will always be a part of me. I will miss you dearly. Until we meet again.
Love,
Your Eldest, Alfie
